… if I will ever be able to really keep killies again.

There is no doubt I truly enjoy keeping fish and like to work with them, but unfortunately it is becoming more and more difficult to make the effort because of my legs.  Sadly I can’t stand for more than 5 minutes with my calf(s) becoming very painful.  It’s not exactly cramping, but much more like shin splints (if you have ever had them) and a burning ache.  I literally have to sit with my legs up for 5-10 minutes for the pain to subside. It is very frustrating in many aspects of my life – for example, I cannot walk around Walmart, I have to use a scooter.

Sadly, I still go down to the fishroom in my basement and look at the many empty tanks (yes I do have a few fish) and wish they were full of breeding pairs (or sometimes some dwarf Cichlids and Livebearers.

Despite all of this, I am planning a few show trips in 2019 – the AKA National Convention is #1 and a week later, a trip the the Tropical Fish Club of Burlington (Vt) 50th anniversary convention.  I expect to return to the KillieKlash in Pennsylvania in the fall.  Outside that, I really am not sure.  I wish I could have some fish to take with me to support the shows, but for the past couple of years its been very difficult to even care for the fish I have, much less breed them in numbers to take with me.  But who knows, maybe I will start taking pain meds or something that will allow me to do the work.

I still have the same fantasies about my hobby – to breed difficult fish in decent numbers to provide them to the hobby.  I still look at large buildings for sale and imagine building a real facility where I could work with endangered species in an effort to maintain them until they could be returned to the wild (among other things).  I’m not really in it for money, but simply for my joy of doing something of value for this hobby.  At one point I considered a ‘Go Fund Me’ page to build up the available money to invest in that project until it reached the point where government grants could become available.  But the truth has become much more realistic the past few years – I don’t have the energy to the necessary work.  Heck I’d even go on that silly show where millionaires fund projects and see if I could convince them to advance me a few dollars.  Truth is, none of this is likely to happen, but its a nice fantasy (just like being able to go to Africa or South America and collect).

Now I mostly enjoy getting together with other hobbyists and shooting the $h1t.

Sorry if this is a bit of a downer, but sometimes its just helpful to whine a little and then pour a glass of wine.